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Day 136

Updated: Jun 26, 2019

Years ago, one of Constance’s father’s cousins asked Constance to be the flower girl at their wedding.

This was an incredible honor and we told them so.

Constance could not pose in group photos. This is one of the key responsibilities of flower girls. I worried that the bride and groom, Vivian and Paul, would get frustrated with Constance on their big day.

I remember being a 5-year-old flower girl at my mother’s friend Kathy’s wedding. I was a perfect child so I can still recall being scolded for being a “brat” because I didn’t want to stand in a group photo for long because the sun was in my eyes.

I warned Vivian and Paul that Constance couldn’t pose for photos. I also confessed to them that Constance couldn’t handle the sensory input of the scratchy tulle fabric commonly put under fancy dresses to make them puff up. I said that while we wanted Constance to be the flower girl, we would understand if, given her limitations, they changed their minds.

Their response still brings grateful tears to my eyes. They said they wanted Constance as a flower girl no matter what she could or couldn’t do. They said that they would just be happy with Constance doing whatever it was she wanted and could do.

I cut the tulle fabric out from Constance’s flower girl dress. Her father practiced her walking down the aisle the weekend before the wedding at the same venue. We were all systems go.

The sincerity of Vivian and Paul’s loving invitation was evident throughout their wedding day.

Before the ceremony, Vivian invited Constance and me to her parent’s home. There was a queue of anxious people waiting for pictures with Vivian. She looked as beautiful as any one woman ever has. When we came in, Constance didn’t want a photo. Constance did want a hug so that’s what Vivian gave her.

There’s this American stereotype of the bridezilla from hell who is stressed, angry, and screaming her way through her wedding day. Vivian was the polar opposite of that. While people throughout the house seemed to be stressing over details, Vivian was the calm nucleus around which the bees buzzed. Vivian was kind, gracious, and welcoming. When I asked her how she felt, she said, “I am happy to be marrying Paul today.”

While people ate and socialized downstairs, Constance wanted to play on a bed so that’s what she did.

At the wedding, Constance’s angelic performance was perfection. I was so proud of her. She walked from her father at one end of the aisle at a perfect little pace, basket in hand, down to me at the other end, sprinkling petals the entire way. What a sweetie pie.

If I was a better person, I wouldn’t mention that the ring bearers were not as angelic as Constance was. Unfortunately, I’m not.

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Unknown member
Jul 29, 2018

Day 137 is at

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