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Day 169

Updated: Jun 26, 2019

Back when the Mother’s Day grief event I was supposed to end was canceled owing to lack of registration, I started looking for something else that might provide the same kind of support. I found a grieving mothers’ retreat and signed up.


The mothers’ retreat seemed like a place where I could meet and get to know how other moms got through losing their child. I spoke to the organizers and looked forward to it this fall. Every time someone did something like make false equivalencies, I would think of the mothers’ retreat and look forward to the friends I was going to meet there.


I wanted to book my flights, so I emailed to verify the schedule. Instead of emailing me a schedule, they suggested that we chat and they talk me through the agenda.


On the call, they told me the plans and they sounded fantastic. Afterward, they proceeded to ask me very invasive questions. This was my third long chat with the organizers’ leadership and so I politely answered.


They said that they had a lot of interest in this retreat and asked if I could attend next year. I explained why I could not. I also reminded them that I’d been on the waiting list for this one since May. The call ended with her saying that she was confident that I would enjoy the retreat and get a lot out of it.


Today, I received an email from two of the organizers. They said that they are rescinding the invitation to attend the retreat. They had oversold it and needed to boot someone.

The organizers expressed a concern that Constance was significantly younger when she died than all of the other children of the other moms. As a result, I’m also younger than the other moms too. I know that Constance and I aren’t exactly antediluvian but I fail to see how that matters.


Reading the rejection, I was disappointed and befuddled. I replied with a cordial, “Thank you for letting me know your decision. Best of luck with your event.” I hope the retreat is healing to the other mothers.

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