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Day 209

Updated: Jun 26, 2019



I crabbed at a friend that he wasn’t listening to me. To prove that he was, he summarized, “You are jealous of your friend Andy.” I modified, “No, I’m jealous of all of my friends and their wonderful lives.” After a pause, he said, “Yeah, I noticed that but I didn’t want to say.” I’m sure my friends notice my jealousy too. As such, it is likely they refrain from telling me about their promotions, new boats, and vacation plans for fear they may be the last straw on the camel’s back that triggers me.


On one hand, it is obvious why I am envious of friends whose children are alive. On the other hand, I’m also green-eyed of those friends who never had children because they aren’t devastatingly heartbroken. However, most of all, I am covetous of my friends with grandchildren. I have two close friends who are in their 90s. My envy of their great-grandchildren is unparalleled. I follow the children’s lives as if they were royalty or the president. I hang on, ever addicted, as their story is built in my mind’s eye. Imagine being so lucky as to have great-grandchildren and to get to know them and babysit them. I can’t image that. What a gift. It seems so glorious.

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Unknown member
Oct 10, 2018

Day 210 is at https://www.wantmybabyback.com/blog/day-210.

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Unknown member
Oct 09, 2018

Oh honey! I’m thinking of you.

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