I took a much-anticipated trip to Indiana to take my step-nieces and nephew out. I convinced my mother and step-father to join me. I was nervous for both practical and irrational reasons.
First, my daughter, Constance, was exceptionally well-behaved with me. If I asked her to do something, she’d do it. I always tried to do what she wanted; so, when I gave her directions, it was purposeful—for example, telling her not to run on the pool deck so she wouldn’t trip and fall. She always listened to me. I was really lucky as a mother. I don’t know what parents of children who misbehave do when they misbehave. I really can’t imagine. I suppose they take a timeout, drink some wine, and reconsider their life choices. ;)
Second, there are three of them. It is really easy to parent when you are in a one-on-one scenario. My parents would tell you that I was the perfect child. Of course, when you are the only child, you have your parents and grandparents all focused on you. That makes behaving an inevitability. By the time my siblings came, I was so used to being the 1984ed that I didn’t know I could break the small elephant’s stick, to mix metaphors. Regarding my step-nieces and nephew, there are three of them and only one of me. So, if they go in different directions, how do I get them to stop besides suggesting to them that they not? I have no idea.
Third, the children have never been watched by me and have recently seen me crying at their step-cousin’s dedication and at her memorial service at the funeral home before that. Needless to say, I had a practical concern they would be fearful of me. My mother assured me there was no way that would be the case but I wasn’t as confident.
As a result of my concern, my mother generously offered to pick up and take home the kids. We all went to lunch at a restaurant of the kids’ choosing. It was nice. As there were three of us adults and three children, it was fast and easy to coordinate trips to the buffet. Our waitress took our photo. No matter how many times I explain to people that on my phone, you can take video and a photo at the same time, they always loudly yell, “It’s taking video,” and then click it until they get lost in the apps. I can’t wait until everyone else breaks their smartphones and catch up to my model. It was a nice lunch followed by a nice afternoon together.
Later, I found out that my step-sister had thought I had changed my mind because I hadn’t finalized the time with her. So, when my mom showed up to pick up the kids, they were enjoying a leisurely Sunday morning. I felt two things: bad that I’d caused the unnecessary confusion and delighted that my family had gone wildly out of their way to accommodate me.
Overall, I would give my attempt at a day with the kids a 5 out of 5 stars. Before I departed for Chicago, I coordinated our next lunch out with my mother. Of course, because we had spent the day with the kids, I didn’t get to catch up much with my mother, so we spent the drive back agreeing with each other’s politics.
Day 223 is at https://www.wantmybabyback.com/blog/day-223.