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  • Writer's pictureRachelle Jervis

Day 293

Updated: Jun 26, 2019

Today is New Year’s Day. It is the first New Year’s Day without my one and only child, Constance. Holidays aren’t holidays without her. They are just days when I don’t have the distraction of work.

Today starts the first calendar year of my life without my daughter. My heart is broken.

I have a lot to resolve to do this year if I’m going to live for my child and myself.

A Grieving Mom’s New Year’s Resolutions

Written on her first New Year’s Day without her child

By Rachelle Jervis, Constance’s Mama | From

I resolve to remember all of the wonderful things about my daughter that made her the great joy of my life.

I resolved to stop posting cry face emojis under my friends’ photos of their kids and families. There’s no need to be a bummer.

I resolve to try and eat a healthy diet whenever I can despite that just yesterday a waiter literally mimed wringing my neck with her bare hands when I told her I was vegan. Yes, there was butter in their baklava.

I resolve to try and exercise every day but not be the kind of annoying person who talks about going to the gym nearly as much as they do it.

I resolve to manage all my resources with respect, especially my time.

I resolve not to use alcohol as a method of managing my grief or help me get through sleepless nights missing my baby.

I resolve to be thankful for all the people who help me get through this.

I resolve to keep Constance’s memory alive through giving time and money to her charities.

I resolve to share what I learn on this journey so that I may help others.

I resolve to try and treat my broken heart with the same tenderness that I would want my daughter to treat hers if she was missing me.

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