Day 302

I sat next to a chatty woman at Soul Cycle. She said attending cycling classes was her New Years resolution. She had her third child in March and wanted to lose that last little bit of pregnancy weight. She has two girls and a boy. She was one of four so she thinks she might have one more. Oh, and what was my resolution?

I didn’t tell her that I go to Soul Cycle because they turn off the lights and up the music so I can cry about my dead daughter for an hour without notice.

I merely said, “To try not to be jealous of mom’s as lucky as you.” She thought I was joking. She pointed to my body and said, “you look like you’re doing fine.” Before I could figure out what to say to that the class started, for the next hour I cried continuously. I left deciding I am going to invest in a Peloton bike of my own.

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