Day 195
- Sep 25, 2018
- 1 min read
Updated: Jun 26, 2019
I’ve been trying to distract myself with social media from my grief. The thing about social media is there seems to be only two kinds of posts in my feeds. The first is news that is hateful and upsetting.
The second is the endless streaming images of friends with their families. I look at them and think about all the things they did right. They met the right person. They got the great job. They had the healthy kids. They sent them to the great school. They go on the interesting vacations. I study the pictures of their lives and imagine all of the wondrous memories they’ve created—a lifetime filled with joyous celebrations together. I see it and I think, “Why didn’t I get things right for Constance.”
Day 196 is at https://www.wantmybabyback.com/blog/day-196.
You did get them right. I was always jealous of your school, your vacations, your jobs, and your relationships. You just didn’t get them long enough.
I’m thinking of you, always.