Day 290

This is such a hard and painful time. I miss Constance so much. As the year comes to an end I irrationally feel she's getting further away from me.

My body and mind have to stay strong and focused if I am going to make it through this. This week I dragging myself to SoulCycle each morning. Yesterday the cyclist sitting next to me was invited to ride on the stage with the instructor during class. He declined by saying that he didn't want to be recognized. I road next to him for an hour and I didn't recognize him. He looked like any other 40-year-old white guy on a bike at 6 am. I'd like to think that if he was Lance I would have picked up on that when he high fived me.

Today I am just going to try and love myself through it. I’m not sure how but I am going to try. Thank you to those of you have sent your encouragement and love. I appreciate it. You are my pack. XO

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