Day 50

A national charity, Aspiritech, is dedicating a room at each of their three facilities and all future facilities to Constance’s memory. This honor is a reflection of the exceptional generosity of Constance’s friends and family and the great love the organization’s leadership has for Constance.

A few weeks before Constance passed, I took her to an open house at their main office. She was so excited to see the cupcakes that she kept yelling, “It's a party! It’s a cake party!” When I tried to shush her, she continued, “But it’s a cake party!” Two board members standing by us told us it was okay for her to shout with joy. Her favorite thing about going to their office was their sensory-friendly break room, which included an adult swing. She loved it so much that two years ago, the organization’s director and founder bought her one for our home. It is those sensory-friendly rooms that will be dedicated to Constance's memory.

Writing the dedication plaque was like writing her epitaph. Being cremated, she will never have a tombstone. This will be her marker. My mind rolled through all of the epitaphs of lives she’ll never have—“Here lies beloved mother,” or “Cherished spouse,” or “Renowned veterinarian.”

My mind fluttered to all of the occupations she would have excelled at—chocolatier, lifeguard, artist—, the infinite future lives she was robbed of, and the years of joy in adventures big and small. Then, selfishly, I thought of all the things I wasn’t going to get to see her do, including the satisfaction of growing old knowing she is happy, healthy, and living a full life that will continue after me. I thought of all of these things and cried, and cried, and cried, and cried, and cried.

Eventually, the nonprofit’s executive director, the board chair, Constance’s dad, and I agreed to the following text:

Dedicated to the memory of Constance Mar-Yohana, daughter of Marc Mar-Yohana and Rachelle Jervis. In loving memory of her joyful spirit, boundless energy, and persistence in overcoming challenges to live a short but full life.

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