When I was saying goodbye to my biological father in Salisbury he asked me not be so hard on myself. I asked what he meant. He said he'd email. This is what he wrote.
Re: Let me tell you about Rachelle "Rachelle had a rough pregnancy with Constance there were some pretty rough patches but she went thru the pain, the sickness, and the falling down to bring Constance into the world.
Constance was here and beautiful but she came with challenges that some people would have balked at but Rachelle leaned into it and said “Nope, that’s my daughter you’re talking about and she’s going to be amazing.”
Some people would have suggested putting Constance out of sight, of boxing her away like a little China doll and not thinking about her very often but not Rachelle. Rachelle said “Shut that noise! Constance is staying right here where she belongs and getting everything your ‘normal’ kid gets. Especially love. I got loads to give her.”
When people said ‘You can’t have a career and care for Constance too.’ Rachelle leaned back, handed them her bottle of water and said “Watch me.” Sure it was hard and tiring, but she did it to spend the most possible time with Constance.
When people said ‘But you can’t afford it, you’ll go broke trying to do this!’ Rachelle gave them a hard stare, pushed a few boxes around, had some serious talks with everyone, EVERYONE and nodded. “You’re right, I can’t. But you assume that’s the end of it. If I can’t afford the help, I’ll become the help.” And she did.
When they said “We can’t offer your daughter the care she needs” Rachelle searched dozens of places till she found someplace that could. And it was a pretty good place too.
When they said ‘She’ll never talk you know.’ Rachelle taught Constance sign language and then to talk and smile and laugh. “This is my daughter and we’re not only going to talk, we’re going to do all the THINGS!” And they did.
When Constance needed a good dog to be her best friend Rachelle found the dog, found the money, did the training and took Constance to meet Otis. And they all bounced on the bed in joy.
Rachelle did all the things against all the odds and all the naysayers and all the eye rollers and the frowning doctors. She took it all on and she gave Constance the best life any kid could have because she had the best Mom anyone could have.
So don’t be so hard on Rachelle. Rachelle is a pretty awesome person and I’m proud to be her dad. OXOXOXOXOXO :end"
He also mentioned that he has found a diamond rig metal detecting so my return on investment calculation was a bit off.
I second that. Though it has been so long and I never met Constance (something I now really regret) every post in this blog shows how hard you have worked for Constance and gave her everything you could. That is why you are, and always will be, a brilliant mum.
He is sooo right! Love you!
How sweet. How knowing and reaffiruing.
Day 141 is at https://www.wantmybabyback.com/blog/day-141.