Day 236

It is a Monday morning. I can not recall if I have posted about giving up my spot on the Epilepsy Society's Marathon Team or not. If this is redundant, consider yourself caught up.

After a failed attempt to walk on a treadmill for an hour, I started reconsidering the marathon. I listened to an audiobook on how to train for your first marathon and I can summarize it by saying that you prepare by running a lot.

The maximum time you can take to run the Chicago Marathon is six hours. After that, the street sweepers come and everything closes down so the streets can reopen. It is highly unlikely that I will be able to run after than that in the marathon by a year from now given that I can’t run at all now and have only recently been able to start wearing heels again.

I asked my family what they thought about me donating to epilepsy research directly instead of running the marathon. They thought that sounded wise because that way I would save money on my medical bills when I inevitably break my ankle. They had a point.

I started thinking about the upside to donating directly, besides not having to run. For example, there would be space on the team for someone who would only donate if they could do the race. I liked thinking of that reason more than the fact that I can’t wear shoes or boots with a heel. It made me feel like a better person. When my mind filled with excuses and fears to the point that it couldn’t hold anymore, I emailed the organization and asked them to give my spot on the waiting list to another person because I would be donating directly. I said I wanted to wait to make the commitment to run in the marathon until after I am able to run a mile again. They said they understood and appreciated the support, however it came. That made me feel slightly better about my fractured ankle and indecision.

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